Like a good colleague, I went to grab lunch with my coworkers today. (Ok, I really just needed a shot of caffeine. Also I was promised cookies.)
After a particularly animated conversation, I dropped my arms to my sides. And experienced a searing shooting pain up my arm. I flailed and jumped – immediately noticing an angry yellow jacket fleeing the scene of the crime.
Bastard stung me! Clearly I am a superhero. (Those buggers are known to be multi-sting stingers.) Only an itchy angry red dot remains of my wound. The wasp was swatted.
Do not try to pollenate me.
Much to the dismay of my colleagues, I am apparently not allergic. Seriously. They asked me repeatedly if I needed to be escorted to a hospital. After reassuring them for a third time, sweetly smiling at such chivalrous caring peers, “Come on, Trish! Man up. Take one for the team!” Because transporting me to the emergency room for anaphylactic shock treatment would have extended the afternoon fresh air excursion. I feel the love guys. I’m also taking my wine and going home. You can have the cone.
To the TSA agent who stopped the woman for additional scrutiny, only to discover the “additional baggage” was merely a muffin top. “Should I post on how I got pulled out for TSA pat down b/c of “suspicious lump” around my middle that turned out to be my midriff bulge?”
Editor’s note: First off, the obvious answer to your question. Of course you should post that! (And thank you for doing so.) Here’s where we winecone the ridiculousness of such aspects of security theatre. (As you well know, you can’t take muffins on the plane.) But you have to admit – for a blogger, that there story is GOLD. Wine will soothe the bruised ego.
If you are going to take your vibrator in your carryon handbag, secure it properly.
Editor’s note: Noted. I’m just going to hand you the bag of winecones and step away. Because I do not want to know how you discovered such an issue. But I will answer the unspoken question here – should your vibrator escape, abandon it. There will be others. Nothing that has touched an airport floor should ever again come in close contact with ones body. If you were at BlogHer, you should have extras. That Trojan rep was very eager to hand out all those Trojan Pulse samples.
I’m watching Curiosity change history. I go to Twitter to make a pithy comment and people are still making sex jokes. Look up people! LookupLookupLookup. You’re missing history around you!
Editor’s note: What’s that philosophical saying? “Life happens when you’re making other plans.” Grab a glass of red, drop the technical tools and head outdoors. We’re just a tiny rock in this great universe – you really think there are no other cones out there? Unlikely.
To all the amazing peeps I met in New York this past week – much much love. (Even if they didn’t remember me at first, when I saw them the second day.) Overwhelming adventure, late nights, and the realization that even if you are simply a tiny krill – without krill, there would be no whales. (Thanks Karen! You’re totally going next year.) Awesomeness.
Whether you were there or not, we’re part of something here. This is our community – readers, writers, commenters.
Which brings me to my next point. All my favorite blogger peeps who didn’t make the trek this year – we’re so taking on Chicago next year! (And this time in the windy city, we’re hitting up Wrigley Field.) Smooches to those who are with me!