Lots of people like to offer up excuses. He’s overwhelmed. She took his toy from him. It was too hot. He doesn’t know any better. But I know better.
My son is hitting people, and he knows exactly what he’s doing.
At first, it was only with me. I would come over and see what trouble he was up to and remove a potentially dangerous non-plaything from his hands. Then he would swat at my face. I was surprised, but I thought that perhaps he was just testing boundaries and seeing what he could get away with. I would answer with a stern “No! We don’t hit!” and look him in the eye. He looked right back at me like, “Okay, lady…whatever.”
I guess my tactics were not working, because soon he started literally expanding his reach, whacking the arms and faces of his grandmother, his father, his uncle, and anyone who dared put him in his highchair/take him away from playing/take toys or dangerous items away from him/or just be in his way. Each time, I would repeat the same line, grab his hands so that he couldn’t hit, and remove him from the situation. Each time he would look at me with this scowl of defiance that curdled my insides. I’m sorry, when did you become a teenager, little toddler boy?
Imma smack you face looks a little like this.
My husband began to protest that my methods for “punishment” were not enough. “He’s not getting it,” he announced glibly when Lucas walked up to me while I was laying on the sofa and planted a smackaroo (and not the sweet kind) on my face just because I was there. Yeah, no shit, I thought, but I really didn’t know what else to do. How do you teach consequences to a 19-month-old? I decided to be patient and hoped that he would ride it out.
Then he started hitting babies.
Okay, Houston? We have a hitting problem. I can’t believe that my kid is THAT KID right now. I want to up the stakes so that he really understands this is not okay, but what type of punishment will work on a toddler? He’s too young for time-out, and I personally don’t believe in spanking. So, besides telling him no and taking him away from the person he is hitting (and taking toys away from him if he is playing with them), what can I do? Emergency assistance is needed. This mommy is tired of being smacked around.
Ok this sounds really bad but I’ll tell u what I did. Tucker started hitting when he was younger too, so my friend told me to tap him back when he does. Lol… Not smack him or anything but just tap him. He’ll cry and you can ask him if that hurt. He’ll say yes and then you can explain to him that that’s what he does when he hits and etc. it only took once with Tucker and he never did it again.y friend explained it to me that sometimes they don’t realize they’re causing pain by hitting.
Aww Wendy, I’m sorry you are going through this stage! It’s beyond frustrating when our child does something that’s a deal breaker and we have to try to reverse the behavior…and the first attempt doesn’t work. I understand not wanting to spank, especially in this situation. If we are teaching them not to put their hands on others and then put our hands on them, we aren’t sending the right message.
You are doing the right thing by removing him from the situation and reprimanding him. I know you think he isn’t ready for time out but he is. It’s just that the work really begins here. It’s the process of essentially training him that he will sit (on a mat, chair, etc) for (1 min per year of age.) “You are in a time out for hitting. We dont hit.” He will scream, protest, and get up and each time you put him back in same spot. It’s brutal but worth a try because he will learn that if he continues to hit he sits and he wont like that. It tries patience like no other method in beginning but once it works it (and is effective) it will set the boundary.
Hello ladies! Cousin, I agree with Shauna. Although I do tap Lorenzo’s hand if he is extremely defiant or tantalizing his little sister. I have ALWAYS put him in time out. Lorenzo really doesnt hit. I would use his high chair and face it towards nothing in a room that I am not in. Another method was putting him in a walk-in closet with the light on.
I was in a situation where Lorenzo was being hit by another boy, and being hit hard. I was having an internal heart-attack while this was happening because Lorenzo has never hit a child ever. And after the 3rd and enormous whack that Lorenzo received that put that puppy dog look on his face, puckered lip and all, because he had no clue what hit him, I stepped in and walked up tithe little boy (who is our friends baby) and said NO HITTING!!! Then I left. I couldnt take Seeing my son sibjected to senseless abuse. Ive been the parent on the other end, and it is so humiliating to us to to have a child hit by another. But my suggestion is time outs and also implementing the time outs in front of others so that Lucas can now feels the same sense of embarrassment that he invokes to the children. Because Lorenzo was not only embarrassed but he was stunned too when this had happened to him. I’m no expert, but time outs seem to work for us. Love u!
Sorry for the typos!