In the bathroom, getting ready for date-night dinner out, dancing and singing (with considerably more volume than talent) to “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” (a great song, inexplicably relegated to the Oldies list on Pandora by a group of 22-yr-old idiot rappers). Just TRY not to shake it a little to “Just wan-uh, Just wan-uh-uh, Just wan-uh, Just wan-uh-uh…Girls just wanna have fun!” and see how long YOU can sit still. Nope. Simply can’t be done.
So I’m wrapping it up, and leave the bathroom on the last “wan-uh-UH,” slamming my makeup drawer shut with an enthusiastic hip bump, then pulling the door closed behind me, at which point I heard a soft “thud.”
Turn back to open the door, which opens about 1/4″, then hits something. WTH? Try again. Bang. I peeked in the tiny opening, looked down, and discovered the door was smacking into the DRAWER, which had apparently bounced back from my energetic hip check and shot forward, behind the door, completely blocking any efforts to get back into the bathroom. SERIOUSLY??
Down the hall to get something flat to slide under the door and try to push the drawer back. Laid on the floor and jabbed at the air half a dozen times, but couldn’t make contact. Decided to try a curved hanger. Back on the floor, more jabbing. Nothing. Half a dozen household items later, I SWEAR I can hear that damn drawer laughing at me.
By now the Chihuahuas have discovered Mommy on the floor, which means PLAYTIME!!, immediately launching a frenzy of leaping and licking, completely obliterating an hour and a half of date readiness rituals. By now, I’m hot, sweaty, and smell like dog breath, and I just heard Kenny’s truck pull in. Well, cra
I hear a cheery, “Honey, you home?,” then he peers around the corner, takes one look at me lying on the floor waving a fondue fork under the bathroom door, with 2 blissed out dogs licking my face, and states, “I don’t know and I’m not going to ask. Right now, I’m going to have a cold beer, and then I’ll get back to you.”
I can wait. In the meantime, order a pizza, would you? I think we’re staying in.