kids

Happy Children

10 May, 2013
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Happy Children

Mother’s Day is coming up, and even though I won’t be doing too many Mother’s Day like activities, especially now, I will still spend plenty of time with my children, and even though this day is supposedly about me, it is really about them. Ally (yes, I started calling her by her real name as she may be getting too told for Munchie) and Ducky (he is always going to be my baby boy), are more precious than I can put into words. They are the ones that are always happy to see me. No matter what. They love spending…

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Please Stop Using Your Kids As An Excuse

13 April, 2013
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Please Stop Using Your Kids As An Excuse

As I was standing in line at Starbucks this morning, I realize how unprepared a lot of people are for the most basic functions. I work in a place where I deal with unpreparedness every day, so I am not entirely sure why I would be surprised. Maybe because something as trivial as buying a cup of coffee should not be this elaborate. I see this lack of preparation the most in a lot of parents. They use their kids as an excuse for just about everything. They are late to work because they have kids. They need an extension…

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Is A Birthing Plan Necessary?

4 April, 2013
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Is A Birthing Plan Necessary?

  I wrote the following post for Yahoo a few years ago, right before giving birth to my son. Even though I am no longer pregnant, and will not be again, I have had two people ask me to repost it. Hopefully other pregnant women will also benefit, or at least have a good laugh. *** When I was pregnant with my daughter, people, including my doctor, asked me what my birthing plan was. My birthing plan was, well, to give birth. That is as far as I had gotten. In my second trimester I realized there was more than…

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The Things We Do To Torture Our Siblings

14 February, 2013
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The Things We Do To Torture Our Siblings

Growing up, I was almost 9 years older than my younger sister. Throughout my mom’s pregnancy, I would be asked if I rather have a sibling or a puppy. I chose a puppy every time. But alas, I got a little screaming new sister. I wasn’t thrilled, seeing how I was an only child for nine years but when she got older, I thought it was pretty cool. I was quite the mentor and would teach her important life lessons. Like how awesome Duran Duran was or how I would play “Sweet Child O’ Mine” over and over and she…

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Easy as A,B,C, 1,2, Poop

8 February, 2013
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Real-Shit-248x300 (1)

So…this was my night. How was yours? Destroy: Look. There are two lights on. One light is dead. 1…2…3… lights! (My son is obviously brilliant.) Destroy: 1…2…3…7…9… (Look at him shunning traditional conventions.) Me: Search, can you count? Search: <after a contemplative pause> No. Me: Ok, let’s go take a bath. Search: I need my pants off. Me: Do you need to go potty? Search: No. Me: Can you sit on the potty? Search: No. <Splish Splash> Me: Let’s sing our ABCs! <Sings to children – poorly, but I did get all the letters right. So, I’ve got that going…

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And That’s Why Mommy’s Vagina Is Large

27 January, 2013
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And That’s Why Mommy’s Vagina Is Large

I was such a doofus when I was pregnant and thought that if women have a vaginal birth, then they have the rest of their years to pee themselves whenever laughing, sneezing, and breathing. Then I had an emergency c-section and found that despite that, my bladder control is a lot to be desired. The hummingbird (age 3): Mommy, what’s this? Me: That’s a pad. Hummingbird: Why?  I want to wear it. Me: Because mommy pees herself sometimes. Hummingbird: Can I put one on? Me: No sweetie, you don’t need that for a while. Hummingbird: Why do you have them? Me:…

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Dear Jim…

11 January, 2013
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Dear Jim…

    I think we can all agree that the term “babysitting” generally means watching after children. At least that is the implication. For me, babysitting is when you watch someone else’s children. When you watch your friends’ children or your neighbor’s children, you are in fact babysitting. When you are watching your own children, however, you are not babysitting. You are parenting. No one should have to ask you to watch your own children. You don’t get anything for watching your own children. You just do it. When you decided to have said children you should have known that…

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What About the Single Mom?

22 December, 2012
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What About the Single Mom?

  Yesterday I was having lunch with Hubby and he started talking to me about cartoons. As the conversation progressed I got to thinking about how underrepresented single moms are in the genre of children’s television shows. I have written before about the lack of parents in some shows, such as Max and Ruby. Yet what seems even more disturbing is how taboo the “single mom” seems to be. I can name off the top of my head several shows where the only parent figure is the father (Power Puff Girls, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Darkwing Duck, Tail Spin, ok,…

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